Doctor Who, Homestuck, and other randomness. Mostly Homestuck these days.
You can call me Bii. Pronouns-wise, traditional female (she, her, etc) are fine.
I nominated Zeminar, head wizard of the society of wizards, for the ice bucket / lemon and soap bucket challenge.
I had a great conversation with a (male) co-worker today (I work in videogames, fyi) where we were like “Man, we used to dig FPS games, but now they’re literally all the same. Maybe they were ALWAYS all the same, but now it’s really starting to show.”
He said, “if I never play an FPS again I will be a happy man”
and I joked “The only way I will ever play an FPS again is if I am in fact a magical girl sparkleprincess who turns squarejawed dudebrows into sparkleponies.”
And then halfway to the car I went… wait.
Since I don’t have the skills to make this and even if I could my current contract with my company means I can’t make it on my own I’m just gonna babble about it on the internets.
What if you had a game where the underlying structure was literally just a normal FPS—a classic FPS, mind you, more Doom, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Wolfenstein, or Quake than Modern Warfare or anything—but instead of being Sir Whitebread Squarejawed McManpain mowing down people you are a classic Sailor Moon type magical girl. All the weapons are basically of the same types as a classic FPS in terms of what they do (pistol, shotgun, rifle, etc) except they are classic magical girl weapons in the forms of wands, scepters, staves, mirrors, hair pins, whatever.
You start out in the middle of your typical Grimdark Real Is Brown Military Shooter, with two different sides of squarejawed manpain guys fighting each other, but instead of killing them, when you hit them with your attacks they turn into happy joy funtime sparklepeople of some sort. They end up in flamboyant lovely clothes and everything around them becomes supersaturated with color and they are immune to bullets. You are not, but you cannot die either because idk bullets don’t really hurt you they just desynch you and send you back to Magical Girl Land. People’s guns explode into rainbows and butterflies. Tanks turn into giant flying neon Lisa Frank whales. Grenades explode into flowers.
You are here to bring peace and end war! In the name of the Sun and Stars, you will bring joy and love!
You could actually pick from a number of protags with different abilities. I genuinely want a huge, fat, not even curvy but outright fat magical girl in a gorgeous fluffy pink dress who floats lightly through the air and is good at grenades, only they are bubble bath bombs. I want an Utena style magical girl in a waistcoat and spats. I want a trans magical girl where literally her gender is backstory and she’s just normal like the rest. I want magical girls who aren’t white or Japanese, I want black magical girls and brown magical girls and all kinds of magical girls. There’s one Tuxedo Mask character and he’s the literal worst at anything so playing him well and actually beating the game with him is basically BRUTAL MODE.
There’d be 4 player co-op mode where you’re still just going through this brown war zone healing the land and bringing PEACE AND LOVE.
Deathmatch / capture the flag / other sorts of versus mode takes place in training sessions in Magical Girl Land where you train by seeing how many of your fellow magical girls you can temporarily turn into adorable kittens, puppies, and bunnies. Respawning is just the spell wearing off.
There would be no ironic magical girl stuff here. This isn’t Madoka, this would be Sailor Moon levels of NOPE PEACE AND LOVE SAVES THE UNIVERSE stuff. Unironic beautiful goodness. Endgame is that you have established your rainbow sparkle empire.
I do not think you know how badly I want this.
*e* LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. This is not a ~shooter for women~ because frankly I’ve been playing shooters since I was a kid. This is not ~pink aisle~. This is subverting the classic shooter formula of “get gun mow down dudes” with “Get sparkle staff make everyone happy.” This is a shooter FOR EVERYONE that is ABOUT SPARKLE PRINCESSES
Furthermore, I’d want to avoid any weird fetishy sexualization. Some of the magical girls should be sexy, yeah! But others should not. They should all be women, first and foremost. No panty shots or any of that gross shit, just cute as hell girls spreading sparkle love.
I would totally play this.
"average person take 4 cakes a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person take 0 cake per year. Lex Luthor, who took 40 cakes (as many was four tens) when no one was looking, is an outlier adn should not have been counted. and thats terrible
It’s important to talk about how vaccines don’t cause autism, but can we please also talk about how much people must hate autism if they’d rather expose their child to polio, measles and chickenpox than autism?
THIS. I feel like asking every anti-vac parent “Why would you rather have a dead child than an autistic one?” I think these parents ought to explain their stance to a group of autistic adults.
I’ve been on both sides of the issue, and hearing parents claim how vaccines might make their kid autistic, and how they’d rather risk these “less dangerous” diseases pisses me off to no end.
I am autistic. I’m on the higher end of the spectrum, and was diagnosed, first with PDD-NOS at ten, then at 23 on the spectrum. My autism was not caused by said vaccine - I’d been showing signs for much longer than that and I don’t believe autism can be caused by vaccines - but when I was a child, I did have one of those rare legitimate reactions to the pertussis vaccine, and was in the hospital for over a day while I was monitored, as a result. I nearly died from the shot. So I am not able to take any boosters of any kind for the vaccine, for fear that I will have another adverse reaction, for the rest of my life.
So, when I was 16, I caught pertussis as a result. I was sick for three months. I would cough day and night, sometimes to the point of vomiting. Even being given codeine to help me sleep did not always get me to sleep, and I’d just be in a zombie haze when that happened, coughing throughout. I couldn’t go to school for a full day from February until June, and almost flunked the tenth grade because the school had a zero-tolerance policy towards absenteeism - even with cases like mine. And getting better from it didn’t make the problems go away - to this day, I’ve had respiratory problems (I have a respiratory infection on an average of 1-2 times a year now), sleeping problems, and worsened allergies, which I had not experienced until after I had gotten sick with the cough.
This is what happened to me as a teenager, and I still feel the health effects to this day. Fourteen years later. And as someone who needed herd immunity to ensure I didn’t get sick, and needs it to make sure I don’t get sick again, I dare - I dare - any parent who is anti-vaccine to tell me that vaccines might get their kid “sick” with autism. Or that its worth getting a disease like pertussis. And to explain why its better to suffer through what I went through, and what parents in Texas, New York, San Diego, and Chicago are going through with measles, and risk death and long-term health problems, over something their kids might not even need herd immunity from. All over the “possibility” that their kid might get ~the autism~. Most important, I want them to look me in the fucking eyes trying to explain why my life is worth less for having autism AND having had that vaccine reaction.
They might wither under my death glare, but at this point, I don’t care. I will keep saying it. Autism isn’t caused by vaccines. If you’re a parent, get your kids vaccinated. The ONLY reason you should not be getting your kids vaccinated is if you have a legitimate medical condition on your hands that would make it a bigger risk to vaccinate. Otherwise? You are no better than a criminal - if not even a terrorist - in my eyes, even if that sounds hyperbolic. But its the only way to convey how serious this is and how pissed this shit makes me. Because you, as a parent who refuses to vaccinate on these flimsy unproven grounds, are not only putting your kids at risk, but others at risk of catching a potentially fatal biological component which - if the victims survive - stand to cause life-long problems which can potentially cost far more than autism ever could. And unlike autism, that IS your fault.
In other words? You have no excuse anymore.
Vaccinate your kids.
Not cutting this, because this is too important to cut.